I've had to learn the hard way that clits, vulvas, and vagin..
🕑 Added 2021-02-24 00:37:10 +0000 UTC
I've had to learn the hard way that clits, vulvas, and vaginas generally do NOT like to be handled roughly. When they do like to be handled roughly, it should come at the direction of the receiver. Someone reached out to me today, asking for tips. Their sexual experiences with men have generally been painful and unsatisfying. This is what I wrote back:
1. If anyone is touching your vulva or clit with their fingers, they need to use lube, and plenty of it!! We make We Love for this purpose, but you can use coconut oil or store-bought lube as well.
2. YOU need to tell them to be softer, harder, faster, slower. An experienced lover will usually start soft and slow, but most people don’t, and it’s up to you to tell them. (For many men, this can be hurtful, as being masculine and sexually competent is "expected" societally. Be sure to be encouraging and remind them how amazing of a lover they are when they get it right!! Tell them during and afterword what you do like, as well as telling them if you need it softer or slower or harder, etc...)
3. Take your time! It takes time to get turned on, and soft / gentle touching and kissing are great ways. Nothing is more uncomfortable and painful than someone who gets down there right away and tries to imitate a porno, shoving fingers in and out and rubbing hard. Spend a while getting excited, it's the most fun part of sex!!
Our videos are a great example of how to be soft and gentle, and are not fake at all. Use them to show your lover, maybe masturbate one-another while watching, and then talk about what you saw that you'd like to try!
Hope this helps!
Chris
