Hey everyone. I was going to make this a video, but I fuckin..
🕑 Added 2023-01-22 23:37:49 +0000 UTC
Hey everyone. I was going to make this a video, but I fucking hate being vulnerable on here. It literally makes me feel ill. I had two teeth pulled yesterday, so I will not be making the live up until later in this week when I can talk properly again. As far as next content that is coming, I'll be putting out a free video and a PPV video tomorrow (teaser drops tonight).
For those of you that have known me for a while, there was a span of a year or so where my depression was getting so bad, I wouldn't even brush my teeth some days. This finally came to an end as I came to value myself as a person beyond any physical or societal means. I am in a much better place now, just picking up the pieces I let fall down on myself.
It is a weird feeling still coming out of that hole I dug myself into, and I just wanted to take a second to let you all know, that I am so thankful for everything you all have done for me. I don't care if you have been here since my first day, or if you just subbed yesterday. It humbles me every single day knowing that you all support me so much that I get to do this for a living. I can hardly even define what 'this' is other than just recording what I do anyway. I just want everyone to know that even if I have left a DM unopened, or didn't respond to a comment, I appreciate you. You are the reason I am comfortable while I recover having my teeth pulled, instead of being made to work through the pain, and I won't forget that.
Yesterday I was reading and came to the conclusion that I am still not proud of the effort I've put into this account yet. I want my years to be excited and fully into a project regardless of how silly or unimportant it might seem. I want to be able to answer with no hesitation when I'm asked what I've been passionate about the last year. I will be putting my full effort into this year as it is the only way to show true gratitude to anyone that supports me or assists me in that venture. Not explaining anything else beyond this, just understand I'm fed up with half assing.
Should this have been a new years post? Absolutely not. I think long form writing is good for my head regardless of when or where it is, so just expect more emotion dumps, as it's the only way my dumb little head can grasp being vulnerable in front of this large of an audience. I hope everyone knows that they are stronger than the obstacles in front of them. Embrace them head on, and continue to remind me of that too when I falter.
New teaser drops in 25 mins, It's a rough one :)
